Synchronicity Strikes Again

The same day I published my blog about rites of passage, I went to visit a 93-year-old friend of mine who is dying of colon cancer. I asked her how she was doing.

“Not well,” she replied. “I’m waiting for my sons to get here so I can say good by, and then I plan to do away with myself.”

“Is it the pain?”

“No, I have medicine for that. I’m just so tired. I do nothing but eat and sleep. It’s time for me to go.”

The next day I went to visit another elderly friend in an assisted living center who had fallen and broken her hip. I worry that she won’t walk again and that this is the beginning of a downward spiral.

When I got home, my husband and I went to visit my niece and her family. Zeus, the family dog who had welcomed both of their girls into the world, was feeble and in pain and had quit eating. It was time to put him down. We all sat in the kitchen with him, wishing him a good journey, telling Zeus stories, sharing memories, and getting tipsy on Negroni cocktails while they waited for the vet to arrive.

When we returned, I sat down to read Of Mice and Men. My son had discovered that I hadn’t read it and went ballistic.

“You’re a writer and you haven’t read Of Mice and Men? That’s a classic. You’ve gotta read it!”

I pointed out all the classics I’d read that he hadn’t.

“Mom, we’re not talking about my shortcomings here, we’re talking about yours. Read the book, and while you’re at it, get Catcher in the Rye, you haven’t read that either.”

I’d checked both books out at the library.

Of Mice and Men is a masterpiece, but a heartbreaker. One stable hand gets tired of the old swamper’s beloved but ancient, worn out dog. It’s suffering and it’s not eating, but mostly it stinks up the bunkhouse. He talks the old man into letting him shoot his faithful friend. Things get even worse at the end when George’s crazy, gentle, dangerous friend, Lennie, unintentionally kills the boss’s son’s wife. George realizes he has no other option than to kill his friend quickly and humanely before the angry farm hands get him or before he’s thrown into a loony bin for the rest of his life.

A friend of mine just told me that she nearly died of a heart attack last month. In fact, she was so close to death that she remembers consciously choosing to live. She was dealing with a lot of family stress and was arguing with her sister when it struck. The doctor found no physical reason for the heart attack; her arteries were clear, her blood pressure was normal, and her heart was healthy. But she says that she can feel that her heart has changed and so has her attitude. She is more emotionally involved in life and feels things more vividly than before her heart broke.

As Jung would say, the above events were acausal, the occurrence of one event didn’t make any of the others happen. But even though they aren’t connected through causality, they are connected by an underlying pattern of intelligence, a collective consciousness.

I believe that synchronicity is the Universe’s way of getting your attention. When my kids wanted my attention, their final resort was to grab my chin and pull my head around so I was looking right at them. Synchronicity is when the Universe grabs your chin.

Unfortunately, the Universe is much more cryptic than a three-year-old. Once it has your attention, it is often hard to interpret the message. Synchronistic events could mean that:

1. You’re on the right path.
2. You’re on the wrong path.
3. There is something you need to understand or appreciate.
4. There is something you need to watch out for.
5. A cycle in your life has ended and another is beginning.
6. A combination of the above
7. None of the above

The common thread that runs through all of my recent synchronistic experiences is choosing death. This could be seen as literal death or as transformation. So the following interpretations are possible:
 I’m on the wrong path and I need to change the way I’m doing things. (meaning #2)
 I need to be more willing to let go and accept change or let go of some cherished beliefs. (meaning #3)
 It is important to be present with and appreciate these souls who are transitioning and also to be with their friends and families. (meaning #3)
 I’m at a point in my life where I need pay attention to the concepts of death and transformation. (meaning #3)
 I may soon be in a position where I’ll need to choose between life and death for myself or for someone else. (meaning #4)
 I am at a point in my life where I need to choose a new direction. (meaning #5)

I suspect and am hoping that the Universe is giving me these experiences to remind me that the only things in this world that are certain are death and change (and taxes). I need to treasure my friends and family while they are with me and celebrate the changes in our lives with rites of passage, either formal or informal. And when change occurs, no matter how painful, grieve and then move on.

Does anyone have any other suggestions or comments?