The Virgin Mary in COSTCO

I dread going to COSTCO.

It’s a huge, echoing void that begs to be filled even though it’s already jammed full of stuff. Unfortunately, the prices (at least on some things) make it irresistible. I had to make the sacrificial journey last Friday to get tested for new hearing aids. COSTCO charges over two thousand dollars less than the last place I went.

I needed to pick up a few things so I tucked a bright yellow shopping bag with the Virgin Mary printed on both sides under my arm and ventured into the void. It was a normal, mind numbing COSTCO experience until I put a box of contact lens solution into my bag and headed back to the cheese cases for a COSTCO sized portion of fresh mozzarella to go with our tomatoes that have just now started ripening. A sad looking, elderly man’s eyes focused on the colorful BVM print and he looked up at me and grinned. A young woman glanced at my bag and complemented me on my T-shirt. As I moved through the crowded store, heads turned and people smiled.

I checked to make sure I didn’t have toilet paper stuck to the bottom of my shoe or food dribbled down the front of my shirt. As far as I could tell, I looked about as normal as I ever get.

At the hearing aid center a woman who had been helping her aunt get hearing aids spotted my bag on her way out and walked back to me. “I love your bag. Isn’t that the Virgin of Guadeloupe?”

“I guess it is,” I replied, looking at the bag more closely.“I thought it was The Virgin Mary.”

“My aunt would know,” she said, “She goes to mass every Sunday.”

“Ah, they’re the same,” replied the old woman in response to our question, and gazed fondly at the picture on my bag.

A COSTCO employee did a double take as I unloaded my two items and laid the bag next to them on the checkout counter.

“That’s great,” she said, patting it gently.

A girlfriend gave me the bag several years ago and the Blessed Virgin has accompanied me uneventfully through many grocery stores, but this was the first time I’d taken her through COSTCO.

I think I’ll take her through again. She made the journey much more pleasant.